How do you play?

Throughout your life you will play many games, like basketball, football, Chutes and Ladders even Hungry, Hungry Hippos! The key to playing all these games is to know the rules and then to practice, practice, practice. I can’t tell you the difference it has made practicing Hungry, Hungry Hippos! There is one game however that I just can’t play. I have tried to practice, there is just not that many opportunities, and I did think I was improving but I was wrong. It is the game of flirting. I suck! I have never been able to talk to a guy I find attractive without walking away hitting my head saying “stupid, stupid, stupid!” and “He doesn’t need to know that!” Let me tell you why I thought I was improving. It used to be that when I was confronted by a cute guy I would stand there with my mouth hanging open, pretty sure drool was coming out and my mind goes blank. So blank that my brain wouldn’t even say “Close your mouth idiot!” You don’t believe me; let me tell you a story. One day at work I came around the corner into the main foyer and there was the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. The lights were shining down on him and the chorus of angels was singing. Now pan back to me I am frozen in mid-step with my mouth hanging open, eyes bulging. Just like a cartoon character. He said “HI” all cute and sexy and I say “Uh, um, da, da!” I am almost 99% sure that drool came out of the corner of my mouth. I then turned and ran away, as fast as my little legs would carry me. I have since gotten over the drooling, and I can pretty well get my name and some semblance of a conversation out. However, even after all the help I have received from friends, family, hair stylist and anyone within hearing distance when I am telling one of many such stories I still can’t seem to play this game. I am writing this because it has happened again! Let me set up the story…Sunday School…cute new boy in the ward comes to sit by me…conversation begins…I am thinking so far so good…spoke too soon! Class begins and I set my scriptures down because my hands are cold, so I am rubbing them together to warm them up…cb(cute boy): “Are you cold?” me: “It really is just my hands” Now a person who can play this game would say something like “would you hold them, can I put them in your pockets” They would make it sound cooler, instead this is my response… “It is ok” I then place my hands in my armpits. Yeah, not sure why I did that! Cb: “I was going to offer you my coat.” Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Why do I do these things?! I knew it was over at that point even though he was still looking at me. I realize now that the look was really a look of she is messed up, must get away. So trying to save some face…it didn’t work…I reply “I bet you think I am weird?” cb: “YEP!” he did say that he was weird as well, but I doubt I will ever see him again. So, I put this out to anyone who is reading this, if you are the master of this game, if you are the world’s champion at this game…PLEASE HELP! I would love to take a class if you offer it…I am willing to pay.

Cousin Mary!

Two weeks from today my cousin Mary who is 84 is coming to visit from Hondo, Texas. It is a little town just outside of San Antonio. We are excited to have her come! While she is here she will be able to meet her family for the first time. You are probally wondering what I mean, so let me give you the story of how we (and by we I mean my sister Katie) happened to find Cousin Mary!

This story takes place in the 1930's when times were hard for everyone. Mary was 5 years old. If families were unable to care for their children they could be given away to people that would be able to care for them. Thank heavens that doesn't still happen or my mom would have sold me to the gypsies along time ago. My great-grandmother's sister had just died of tuberculois, so the kids were sent away. Mary was adopted into a family that had just lost a little girl the same age. Unfortunatley, contact was lost for many, many years. Grandma Vera, eventually located her and would write her letters weekly until Grandma died in 1986. Again, contact was lost until a year and half ago.

My sister Katie started doing geneology work and was reading through Grandma's journals (she had a journal for every year of her life and she faithfully wrote in it daily, listing the prices of things she purchased and what was happening in the world at that time). As Katie was reading she kept coming across grandma saying she had wrote or received a letter from her niece Mary. She dis some research and found the back story I mentioned above. The next step was the temple work, but she needed a copy of the death certificate. She couldn't find it, so wondered if she was still alive. Googled her name and found someone with the same name at the last known address. She picked up the phone and called. It was her!! (Katie is in green.)

My other sister Kayleen had just moved to Houston which was only a 3 1/2 hour drive to Hondo so plans were made for Kayleen, her husband Corey and son Landon to drive there and visit. While they were visiting she was showing Kayleen some letters that Grandma had wrote to her and one caught Kayleen's eye. It was dated May 11, 1977 (Corey was born on that day) and in it talked about how Grandma just found out she was going to be getting a second great-neice that would be born in September. Kayleen started crying, and said "Mary, do you know who she is talking about?" Mary had no idea, so Kayleen told her, "I am that baby that was born in September!" Thirty years later, with the help of Grandma on the other side, our families were finally re-united.

Since that day, my parents, my sister Katie and myself have all gone down to Hondo to meet Mary. Which what a spitfire that woman is! She says whatever she is thinking! She didn't like my hairstyle, nor how my sister did the zig-zag part. She said she had a extra comb she could send home with her. She has a 93 year old boyfriend, Victor. She has two best friends, EdWinnie and Geri that all take care of each other. They sit out on their patio at night drinking beer and the local radio dj stops by to talk and get the next days show topic. She adores my nephew Landon and made him a special birthday cake when we went. And now in two weeks she will be here to visit! On sunday we will have an open house so that my Grandma LaVerda (yes, that is her name) and her siblings Alden, Melvina and Cousin Dot (man my family has weird names no wonder my full name is Kristin Kristine! ) can come and meet her. Though we will have to stand by and protect her, LaVerda can be overwhelming! We are so happy to have her in our lives!! (The one on the left is Geri, Landon and then Cousin Mary.)

I would like to thank the academy!

I would like to thank the academy for the "learning to dance without falling off the stage" award. Presented by Jill Whitney. It is an honor just to be nominated but to actually win!! I would like to thank all the little people that helped me get this award, Hip Hop Abs, Jenny for telling me not to dance--Take that! :) To the Cache Regional Theatre company for taking me on and letting me dance. And to Charlotte our choreographer who patiently taught me the triple foot thing! Which it actually has a name but I have no idea what it is. So I made it through the play without falling off my heels and then falling off the stage onto the laps of the front row. What an experience the play was. Something that I will always remember. I loved every single minute of it. From the three nights a week practice, to helping build plates and cutlery. I even enjoyed the wearing of the tights and the massive amounts of makeup. I think some of the hardest things were the dancing (obviously) the wearing of high heels and being so short that my skirt drug on the ground, so a lot of times when I had to squat/kneel on stage then tried to get up and have your skirt stay on the ground. I did almost de-skirt myself several times, but I had bloomers on so it wouldn't have been as embarrassing. After all of that, I want to do more. I have met a wonderful group of friends, that I know I will have for a very long time. So thanks again to the academy! Hopefully my next award will be Outstanding Performance...you fill in the blank!

The Village Idiot!

Now that is not my official title like Village Idiot played by Kristin Johnson, but when you see me dance it is obvious. We started practicing about a month before we opened (didn't help) and in the scene with Gaston we dance and bang our beer mugs. Well as I have mentioned before I am not a dancer it is because my friend Jenny in 5th grade told me never to dance again in my life...so I didn't. And no matter how many times I have done Hip Hop Abs that didn't help either. Then to top it off they put me in heels and on the front row (because I can't be seen anywhere else). Which not only am I not a dancer but I am also clumsy! I know one of these times I am going to fall off my heels, fall off the stage and right into the laps of the people on the front row. I am happy to say that I have made it through two performances and I have remained upright...except for a little slip while running down some stairs...nobody saw I was backstage! I am very glad I auditioned it has been one of the funnest experiences in my life. The people are amazing, the costumes are outstanding (Well done Kody & Danny Rash)! And despite the fear of truly being the Village Idiot very grateful that they looked past the tap dancing and took me on anyways!!

The theatre, the theatre...

I have always wanted to be in a play. It is one of the items on my "have to do before I die" list. So I went looking for auditions. I came across Beauty and the Beast, but auditions were a week away, so I frantically started searching for a song. I chose "Singin' in the Rain" I figured I knew that song well enough that I could show "character." Day of auditions comes I am physically ill I am so nervous. I get to the the theatre and find out I have to audition with 11 others. I am number 10. So now you have to listen to others and get even more nervous. I mean all I really wanted to do was be tree in the background and if my arms got tired from holding them up I would pretend it was the wind. My turn comes and I start singing and I think I'm having a heart attack but I keep singing. Well, it was getting closer, and closer to the dancing part of the song...I don't dance...I was hoping they would cut me off sooner. So I say "This would be the part that I would tap dance if I knew how...Oh, what the heck I will try it anyways!" I then proceeded to tap around the stage looking like a complete idiot. They enjoyed it though! I am now in Beauty and the Beast...I play the village idiot! :)

He's just not that into you!

There is a book out there that every woman needs to read. It is called "He's just not that into you" it is written by Greg Behrendt and the lady who was the writer on the show Sex and the City. What a great book to build up your self esteem. The concept of the book is to let you know that you are a fox, that you deserved to be loved, and to stop wasting your time on the losers that are just not that into you. That is every guy who says he is going to call but never does, the guy who drops off the face of the earth, the guy who is so busy (which he says busy=asshole), the guy who only wants to see you on his terms (when he either wants a free meal or a little yum-yum), the guy who breaks up with you with no explanation, etc. There is an answer it is HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and is too much of a loser, chicken, asshole, insert your own word here to actually say it to your face. Cause yes it may hurt at first if they were man enough to say it but then at least you would know and not waste your time and energy on wondering what is wrong with you, did you say something wrong, what? YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!! YOU ARE WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL AND WORTH IT! If there is a guy who you like, but he hasn't asked you out yet, quit trying to get him to notice you by arranging when you can see him again, quit wondering if he doesn't have your number. If he wanted you, then he would have already asked you out, face it he's just not that into you. I know that this is a hard concept, but when you do finally accept it and see through the stories in the book things you have done, you will realize how wonderful you are and refuse to have anything less in your life. Please read it, it changed my life and I hope it will help yours!!

When I grow up!

Lately, I have been thinking about growing up. I know I will never grow up like that, although in the last 4 years I did grow one whole inch. No I wasn't wearing shoes or had my hair too fluffy. I am thinking about actually growing up and buying a home. This is a huge step for anyone, you have to find a place, make sure you have enough money, you have down payments, all the taxes and other stuff I know that I don't know about. But despite all of that I would love a place of my own. You get to a certain age and the whole roommate thing is just not working for you. They are all too young and studpid and you vow that you were never like that though in all reality you were exactly like that but why admit it. The late night parties, the I think my mom still lives here so I don't need to do my dishes begins to take a toll on someone my age. Lets be honest I am not a spring chicken anymore. What I never thought would happen as happened. I now am ready to go to bed at 9, I creak and crack when I get up and down. Stop the insanity! I wish sometimes that life would not have passed by so fast but it has and so the next logical step is to buy a house...wish me luck!

Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I found him...

J/K everyone, I have not found anyone yet unless you count my two 7 year old nephews who seem to think I rock!! I have been thinking lately isn't it funny that on your quest to find the right one you have to go through so many bad ones first. My mom is concerned that I am getting too old and becoming a menace, plus I thinks she wants more grandchildren (she said she is even having dreams about my kids), so she has taken it upon herself to find me a man. I have been out with every Tom, Dick and Harry, as well as Harry's cousin twice removed, Bubba. I think that my mother carries my picture around with her and shows it to ANY male she can find. It doesn't just stop with her, she has even roped my sisters and dad into her evil plan. My sister even went as far as setting me up a new email address and emailing some guy who wrote an article in the paper about him having diabetes,and look at him now, yada, yada, yada. When she told me about it she said she based the "match" on that fact that we both had diabetes so we we would be perfect. Which leads me to my second point, when you do agree to go on one of these "matches" the thought always comes to mind, what made you think that we would be perfect together. Having a disease together doesn't make you a match made in heaven, it means you are going to be poor with all the medical bills you will now have. Or the couples that want to see their friends as happy as they are so they set you up with their single friends and by the end of your night, you would have rathered have all your teeth pulled. So the question remains how do you find the right someone? Do you keep getting set-up on these excruiatinglly painful nights and pray that maybe this next one will be the final time you will have to do this. Or do you just give up all together and hope that fate is on your side? I am almost to the latter I don't know how many more evenings with Bubba I can manage. Until that time I will endure hoping that it is soon over and I can get on with the next stage of my life. Good luck with yours and if you know anyone single send them my way!