How do you play?

Throughout your life you will play many games, like basketball, football, Chutes and Ladders even Hungry, Hungry Hippos! The key to playing all these games is to know the rules and then to practice, practice, practice. I can’t tell you the difference it has made practicing Hungry, Hungry Hippos! There is one game however that I just can’t play. I have tried to practice, there is just not that many opportunities, and I did think I was improving but I was wrong. It is the game of flirting. I suck! I have never been able to talk to a guy I find attractive without walking away hitting my head saying “stupid, stupid, stupid!” and “He doesn’t need to know that!” Let me tell you why I thought I was improving. It used to be that when I was confronted by a cute guy I would stand there with my mouth hanging open, pretty sure drool was coming out and my mind goes blank. So blank that my brain wouldn’t even say “Close your mouth idiot!” You don’t believe me; let me tell you a story. One day at work I came around the corner into the main foyer and there was the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. The lights were shining down on him and the chorus of angels was singing. Now pan back to me I am frozen in mid-step with my mouth hanging open, eyes bulging. Just like a cartoon character. He said “HI” all cute and sexy and I say “Uh, um, da, da!” I am almost 99% sure that drool came out of the corner of my mouth. I then turned and ran away, as fast as my little legs would carry me. I have since gotten over the drooling, and I can pretty well get my name and some semblance of a conversation out. However, even after all the help I have received from friends, family, hair stylist and anyone within hearing distance when I am telling one of many such stories I still can’t seem to play this game. I am writing this because it has happened again! Let me set up the story…Sunday School…cute new boy in the ward comes to sit by me…conversation begins…I am thinking so far so good…spoke too soon! Class begins and I set my scriptures down because my hands are cold, so I am rubbing them together to warm them up…cb(cute boy): “Are you cold?” me: “It really is just my hands” Now a person who can play this game would say something like “would you hold them, can I put them in your pockets” They would make it sound cooler, instead this is my response… “It is ok” I then place my hands in my armpits. Yeah, not sure why I did that! Cb: “I was going to offer you my coat.” Stupid, stupid, stupid!! Why do I do these things?! I knew it was over at that point even though he was still looking at me. I realize now that the look was really a look of she is messed up, must get away. So trying to save some face…it didn’t work…I reply “I bet you think I am weird?” cb: “YEP!” he did say that he was weird as well, but I doubt I will ever see him again. So, I put this out to anyone who is reading this, if you are the master of this game, if you are the world’s champion at this game…PLEASE HELP! I would love to take a class if you offer it…I am willing to pay.